


Nightly Whispers

by Djapchan



Category: Eureka
Genre: Angst and Humor, Eventual Romance, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 15:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4882726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djapchan/pseuds/Djapchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan has vanished and is believed dead by the whole town. Only Carter starts to hear strange whispers and pleading, fearing he's slowly losing his mind. Thankfully he isn't - at least not more so than usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How to lose your mind the easiest way

“Carter? Carter? Can you hear me? CARTER!”

Jack groaned into his pillow while pulling the blankets over his ears. Obviously he was going insane, but it surely could wait until next morning, right? He was bone tired after another very strenuous day at GD where he had tried to keep the world from falling apart. Again.

Who would have thought that loosing Dr. Nathan Stark would lead to so many unsolvable problems? Jack had always believed the scientist was only full of himself, but in the last weeks since his death he was seriously reconsidering that former assessment.

But only because he wanted the snarky scientist back that didn’t have to mean he would lose his mind over his dead, right? RIGHT? It had been bad enough when Allison nearly lost it over that whole incident with that stupid data diamond.

All these musings didn’t change the evidence though: earlier that day he had believed to hear Stark’s snarky comments on the inabilities of his former coworkers. His head had whipped around to the source of the sound, efficiently putting himself in the middle of everybody’s attention. To his surprise (or rather relieve?) he couldn’t find the source of the voice though, so he blamed his raised stress levels for it, ignored the voice and got back to business.

Bringing back people from the dead was even in Eureka impossible, so there was no way how he could hear the voice of the dead scientist. At least he’d been told so repeatedly by the best scientists of the whole town lead by none other than Henry and Allison themselves.

So he’d tuned the voice out all the way home until it finally quieted down before he decided to call it an early night. He had been more tired than usual over the last weeks and he probably needed some more rest. On his way to the bunker everything had been silent, but now, in the middle of the night, the voice was back in full force.

Although it did sound like the snarky scientist, the voice had gotten new undertones Jack wasn’t used to hear: behind the snarky exterior there was desperation and sadness to be found, probably even hints of something like lurking horror. So finally Jack decided to indulge his obviously stressed brain, because he hoped to get some sleep afterwards. 

“Can’t you just shut up?”

The voice suddenly paused, then it let a baffled “So you could really hear me?” follow.

“Loud and clear.” Jack mumbled into his pillow but he finally rolled to his back, where he put his arm over his tired eyes in a gesture of pure exhaustion.

“Why didn’t you answer me before?” That question made Jack snort.

“Because it’s bad enough that Allison is barely holding it together. This town can’t afford to also lose his sheriff to a mental disease.” 

“This is no disease. I’m really here.” Stark sounded exaggerated. 

Carter chuckled: “Yeah sure. I thought you might say that.”

“I’m dead serious!” Stark’s voice sounded really pissed by now.

Another chuckle from Carter: “First and foremost you are dead. That is true at least.”

“I’m not. I’ve been here all the time and I just thought no one could hear me.” 

“That may be because dead people usually can’t talk.”

“That stupid machine didn’t kill me. It just transferred my body into some sort of… energy.”

“Ha! Got you. The real Stark would surly know by now how to fix his own situation or at least how to name it properly to make me look stupid. So this is only my head trying to cope with the stress…seriously, get a grip on yourself Jack…” Carter chided himself gently, sounding really torn and sad.

“Look, I don’t have a body, so how should I do any experiments on my own ‘situation’, as you so eloquently put it? I can’t know what exactly happened to me, because I couldn’t work on it in this condition.” The Stark in Carter’s head sounded really tired, as the sheriff found another argument, why this couldn’t be real.

“So why am I the only one who can hear you?”

He heard a deep sigh before the voice finally answered: “I think it may have to do with you being the one caught in the loops. Or perhaps because you were the only one who was there when I… got changed to this.”

“So why didn’t I hear you before then? It’s been over six weeks by now.”

“I lost two weeks before I could even control my new state of being. I kept loosely floating around, at first not knowing how to move myself from one place to another. I needed over ten days to figure out how to produce any sound in this state and I’m still not sure how I managed. I don’t have words for how I do it, because nobody did this before that is at least didn’t anyone return to talk about it yet. I’ve been trying to get anyone’s attention since I learned to control the energy, but without any success so far. Until now that is.”

“Look, can’t we have this conversation tomorrow? I’m really tired and tomorrow will be early enough for me to lose my mind.”

The voice suddenly snapped furious: “Damn it! Get a grip on yourself Carter. Didn’t you take this oath where you have to help people in danger?”

Carter snorted: “That surely doesn’t include people who are already dead and exist only in my head.”

“Come on, what would you lose by trying to help me?” Stark’s voice rang full of panic again.

That made Carter pause but soon he rolled his eyes. “You mean except making a total fool of myself in front of the most intelligent people on this planet? Or giving Allison no choice but to fire me, because I’m obviously losing my mind?”

“They already think that you’re stupid. They surely won’t need any more evidence to do so.”

To the scientist’s surprise his words made Carter chuckle.

“You really sound like him, that’s for sure.”

“That’s because I am me.”

“Okay, so prove it then!” There was a challenge in Carter’s voice, Stark didn’t miss.

“I’m already trying, but perhaps your skull’s just too thick to understand.”

“Well, you’re the genius: find another way!”

“Any suggestions?”

Carter thought about it then offered:

“Tell me something only you and me know about.”

To match the sound of his voice the real Stark surely would have been rolling his eyes:   
“That wouldn’t prove anything. If you believe me to be just an illusion your own head came up with, I would already know anything you could think of.”

“True.” Carter looked actually disappointed by the admittance and the floating energy of Stark felt something stir inside him, which might be recognized as hope.

“Wait, Carter. Perhaps it could work.”

“Yes? How?”

“Your daughter!”

“What has Zoe to do with this?” Carter asked suspiciously.

“I might happen to know something that only she and I know, but definitely not you.”

“Okay, that is wrong on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start.” Carter was sounding agitated and he had finally stood to pace the bedroom, his fatigue entirely forgotten.

“Look, it’s just a coincidence that I know and it’s really nothing bad or dangerous. Could you please wake her up to give it a try?”

Carter came to a decision, although the use of ‘please’ by someone like Stark didn’t actually help matters. There’s no way Stark would use such a word in his presence. But was the sheriff really losing his mind?

“Only on one condition.”

“Fine. What is it?”

“If it doesn’t work out, you promise me to go away.” And suddenly Carter’s look was wide open and showed how scared he really was, but also how determined to live this through.

“Okay, I’ll promise.” Carter was Stark’s last chance after all.

“Okay, let’s do this and finally get rid of you.”  
Carter stormed out of his bedroom closely followed by a cloud of energy. He knocked at Zoe’s bedroom door and entered after her tired “Dad?” had reached his ears.

“I really need your help, Zoe.”

“Dad? It’s 4 o’clock in the morning. Are you alright?”

“No, I think I might be anything else but alright. Will you please help me?”

“Of course. What shall I do?”

And Jack Carter explained everything to his daughter: about that stupid diamond, about the incident earlier the day at GD and about the voice which he was still hearing and which just wouldn’t go away. Zoe kept quiet through all of it and nodded earnestly while hearing him out. Only sometimes her eyes would widen slightly to show the concern she clearly felt on her father’s behalf. Carter finally sagged on the bed, his left hand touching his head in a familiar gesture of tension.

After a while in which Jack stared confused ahead without seeing anything, Zoe touched his arm gently to make him look up.

“Dad? Don’t be so hard on yourself! I don’t think you’re losing your mind. You have dealt with much worse things in our past. Let’s give it a try. If Dr. Stark is really out there and the experiment works out, you’ll find a way to help him. I believe in you.”  
Carter managed to find her a small smile in gratitude before pulling her in a bone-crushing hug.

“Thank you, Zoe.” Then he added to the air around him: “Okay, shoot. What is it?”

“Just tell her ‘158’.” The voice said. The entity which had called himself Stark before knew of course the real results of the IQ tests of the students. And it just came in handy now that he’d overheard Detective Lupo one day at Café Diem, that Carter believed it to be only 112.

“Couldn’t you be any more cryptic?” Carter sounded annoyed. “It’s always the hard way with you, isn’t it?”

“Just tell her, she’ll know what it means.”

“Fine. Zoe?”

“Yes?”

“158. Does that mean anything to you?”

Judging by the blush on her cheeks it did and Jack was dying to ask what exactly that meant to her. Instead of answering him she offered to the air:

“Dr. Stark? Please don’t tell anybody!”

The sheriff was torn between feeling angry at being kept in the dark and relieved about Stark really being there. So he really wasn’t imaging things and losing his mind after all. Sure there was a way to fix this, right? Everything else could wait.

His thoughts were interrupted by Stark telling him something: “Tell her, that I promise.”  
“He promises, Zoe. But don’t think I won’t grill you about this later. Right now we need to find a way to fix this though.”

“Why don’t you ask Henry for help? He’s the best for the job and he will surely believe you.”

Zoe was right, so to Henry they went.


	2. Music

“Why are you even following me to the bunker?” Carter’s voice ringed in front of the smart house as soon as he left his car.

Stark’s voice sounded pretty annoyed and full of sarcasm: “Because you are the only one who can hear me.”

“But Henry did believe us and he sure will find a solution.” Carter tried to sound reassuring before adding: “But now we all need our beauty sleep.”

“Not me.” To his utter surprise Stark’s voice sounded so thin and depressed that Carter stopped dead in his tracks.

“What do you mean? Can’t you sleep?”

The snarky and pissed off Stark was right back on the surface, but somehow Jack couldn’t forget his earlier lapse in what seemed to be his real feelings: “Of course I can’t sleep. I have no body, remember? I know it must be hard for a man with your IQ, but…”

“Stop that crap now, will you?”

“You started it.”

“Fine, I started it. But I really don’t want to discuss this out here. Let’s get inside!”

“That was exactly what I was trying to do when you kept asking stupid questions. So am I allowed inside?”

“What? Have you become a vampire now that you need my invitation? You never bothered to wait for it before…”

“I won’t come with you, if I’m not welcome. I did manage great on myself so far, why should I…”

Carter rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. I do apologize for being rude.” He rubbed his eyes and started to make his way over to the door of the bunker. “I’m just tired. But actually it’s better if you stay here tonight. If Henry gets an idea over night he’ll surly phone me so you’ll know about it in no time.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to tell everybody afterwards behind my back what a shameless intruder I’ve been…”  
Carter lifted an eyebrow: “Since when exactly do you care what other people think of you?”

“There was a grin in his words to be heard, when he answered: “Point taken. Are you coming?”

As he heard the voice of the scientist already at the door Carter hurried to follow the man inside.

They were greeted by S.A.R.A.H. who of course instantly questioned the sheriff, how things turned out at GD. She’d been quite interested in the whole affair before they left the bunker for Henry in the morning. Jack filled her in on the details they had gotten so far and the smart house heard the relief in Jack’s voice about that he really hadn’t been just seeing things. But Henry had been able to locate a strange energy in the room with them on which readings he was still working. So Stark was really there and they would find a way to bring him back.

“Dr Stark?” the smart house addressed their guest and waited for the affirmative. Stark actually gave it, but of course S.A.R.A.H. couldn’t hear it, so Jack translated: “He’s listening to you.”

“Do you need anything from me?” 

“Tell her ‘no’. And thank her for me.”

Jack lifted an eyebrow in surprise and did as he was told.

“Good Dr. Stark. Please feel free to ask for anything as long as you are our guest.”

“He will, S.A.R.A.H. Is Zoe home already?”

“Yes, but she’s already sleeping as she has a difficult test tomorrow in Chemistry.”

“Good. Beer me!”

Carter went over to retrieve his drink then made himself comfortable on the couch. He took a few cautious sips then sighed again before asking:

“So you can’t sleep in your condition?”

He was getting pretty good at talking just into the air without trying to actually talk into a certain direction. He couldn’t know from where Nathan’s voice would sound the next time, so he finally stopped trying to guess.

“No Carter. As I have no body, I can’t sleep. My mind just doesn’t shut off.”

That comment made Carter chuckle and Stark asked surprised: “What is it?”

“Obviously it can be a curse to be a genius…”

“Very. Funny.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be laughing at you right now.” Carter soon grew serious again because he was wondering how it must have felt for Stark to exist in that condition. Somehow it can’t have been pretty so far.

“How… how do you feel?” Jack felt awkward to ask his old nemesis such a question but he really wanted to know. And to his surprise Stark seemed to give the question some thought before actually answering instead of just giving a harsh and meaningless response.

“Not so good. It felt like…”

Stark paused until Carter gently prodded: “It felt like what?”

“Like falling apart. If you thought you were losing your mind by hearing my voice, how do you think did I feel? Wandering around without my body. Talking all the time but no one could hear me. Being there but forgotten and without any sign in sight of help. No one was looking for me as you all thought I was dead.”

They lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts before finally Jack spoke up again: “But that’s over now. I can hear you just fine and Henry believes me. We will find a way to get you back to your body. You’re not lost anymore. We found you.”

Nathan felt the urge to voice his concerns, his fears of never finding a solution for his problem, but in the end he didn’t. He’d told the sheriff way too much already, a clear sign of how bad he really felt in his isolation. So instead he settled for: “We’ll see what time has in store for us.”

Carter didn’t question his statement, just nodded all earnest. Then he asked the same question from earlier again, giving it slightly new emphasis: “Where did you stay before at night?”

Stark would have rolled his eyes if he would have had some. He really didn’t want to talk about this, but he knew that look on the sheriff. He was in his stubborn-mode and wouldn’t give an inch on it without getting a proper answer.

“Here and there.” Nathan finally tried to evade the real question.

“Why aren’t you with Allison?” Jack cut right through to the problem.

“I…” Stark cursed inwardly but finally decided to give in “I tried too, but I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

“She couldn’t hear me. Whatever I did she wasn’t aware of me, she never saw or heard me. I screamed myself hoarse and she didn’t hear me. After a while it just hurt too much.”

“Is that everything? You sound as if you are holding back. I promise I won’t tell anybody. You said you long for conversation. I’m here now and I’m listening. Why don’t you give it a try?”

Strangely, the man was right. Stark did long for conversation and he really was thankful someone was finally listening again. Even if it was only the town sheriff, a man he used to despise. 

“I… she…” It wasn’t easy for him to speak about his feelings though. “She got rid of every memory.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She doesn’t wear the diamond or the ring. She packed away every photo of me in the house. She doesn’t answer her own son, when he asks about me. She pretends I never existed.”

Carter looked sympathetic: “Jeez. That sure hurts. But don’t be too hard on her. That diamond of yours was clever, but it shocked us all very much especially her. I can’t blame her for not getting constantly reminded of what she lost. For the second time that is.”

“That’s exactly the problem!” Stark suddenly snapped before he could stop himself.

“Huh? What’s the problem?” 

“On one hand, I don’t want her to lose me again, if this doesn’t work. I don’t want to raise her hopes just to crush them again when there’s no answer, no solution. But on the other hand, I’m really angry at her.”

“For getting rid of your memory?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because she was the one to leave the first time around. She wanted the divorce and made me leave. And back then she did the same.”

“Pretend that you never existed?”

“Yes.”

Silence again, then quietly: “Okay, that sucks big time.”

“I really don’t want to be with her right now, until I’m fixed again. But there is nowhere else for me to go. I tried to leave Eureka a few times, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let go.”

“Well you are welcome here for the time being. I don’t mind you staying here and it will come in handy tomorrow when Henry calls us.”

“I agree.”

Carter chuckled. “I never thought to hear those words out of your mouth.” He was interrupted by a big yawn before he added: “I’m tired now though, so I’ll go get myself some sleep if you don’t mind. We can talk some more tomorrow, I promise.”

“Carter?”

“Yes?” 

“I can’t sleep or touch or smell, but I can listen. Would you terribly mind if you asked S.A.R.A.H. for some music for me?”

“Of course not. What would you like to hear?”

“Something with classical guitar? Spanish or South American would be really great.”

“I figured you more the Mozart-type.”

“Did Allie tell you that?”

“She always kept telling me how often you two went to the philharmonics.”

“What should I say? What genius tells his wife he hates her music? Especially if he had used it to his advantage before when woeing her?”

“So instead you smile, nod and bear it?”

“It has worked so far.”

“I usually still prefer the truth.”

“Suit yourself. So what music do you like?”

“S.A.R.A.H. Please play the list of my favorite music for our guest. Add some similar pieces to it when it’s through, so that he’ll have some entertainment until tomorrow morning, as he doesn’t sleep at the moment.” Carter admitted with a small smile.

“If he likes your music, why don’t you play for him?”

Suddenly blushing Carter grew nervous again and tried to shrug the question off by softly chiding the smart house: “Just do as I asked you, will you?”

“But you play so beautifully Jack. Dr. Stark will like it if he’s fond of guitars.” S.A.R.A.H. sounded close to sulking and Jack never liked to bear the smart house in that condition. You could never know when S.A.R.A.H. would decide to intervene again.

Stark didn’t need to hear more to be thoroughly intrigued. He cursed the obvious excitement though, which shone through his words when he asked: “You play the guitar, sheriff?”

“I used to, when I was younger. Now it’s only for my own amusement.” He lifted his arm in a typical manner, touching the backside of his head in embarrassment.

“I’d still like to hear you play.” The wish was out of his mouth before he could have stopped it from leaving so he added quickly “If you are not too tired, that is.”

For a moment it looked as if he would decline but then Carter just shrugged and asked S.A.R.A.H. for his guitar. The smart house opened one drawer, where the instrument was waiting patiently for its owner. Jack grabbed the guitar and tuned the instrument with efficient moves before mumbling:

“I’m out of practice, but I think I can manage one or two of my own favorites if you really want to listen.”

“I’d really like to hear you play.”

So Jack flexed his hands, played some scales as a warm-up and finally started in on the music. Soon both men were lost to the soft tunes Jack was evoking. Stark knew right away that Carter’s words had been the understatement of the year as he was obviously quite talented. On top of it Carter looked really content and happy, never missing even one note or making a pause at the wrong time. The most fascinating thing was, that he even played without looking at his instrument and instead with closed eyes for the whole time, a small smile constantly tugging at his lips.

When Carter finally finished both man were so overwhelmed by the music that Nathan spoke only in hushed whispers as not to break the comfortable silence and the mood: “Thank you.”

Carter did a double take, lifted an eyebrow but didn’t comment. Instead he just nodded his head once and answered: “You’re welcome.” 

To bridge the now awkward distance between them, Stark finally offered:

“When I was younger I nagged my parents about guitar lessons, but when they finally paid for them we soon had to realize that I was without any talent.” 

“I could try to teach you, as soon as you’ll be back to normal. I had a real great teacher and perhaps you just had the wrong ones, as you obviously love this music so much. As long as you play only for yourself you never need to be perfect at it. You just need to enjoy the fact, that you can do it for yourself. That’s why I stopped playing for an audience as it never made me happy before.”

“You shouldn’t have played for me then.” Stark’s voice sounded odd so Carter hurried to reassure the other man.

“Don’t worry about it. I really wanted to play for you, so it’s fine. Feel free to ask for it again, whenever you wish. I’ll let you know, when I’m not in the mood.”

“Alright. I might even come back to your offer about teaching me, one day. I always wanted to learn how to play.”

“As you wish. But I think I’ll go to bed now because I’m really tired. You’ll be fine with S.A.R.A.H. entertaining you with some music for the rest of the night?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Good.” 

“Until tomorrow, sheriff. Good night.”

“Until tomorrow, scientist.”


	3. Pent-up tension relief

“May I watch?”

Jack Carter very nearly had a heart attack as he wrestled his hands from under the blankets and simultaneously tried to be nonchalant about it. His heart was hammering and he bolted upright in bed, thankfully still wearing his pajama bottoms and his t-shirt. Only ten minutes later he would probably already have lost both of them together with his shorts underneath.

“What the hell are you doing here? Never heard anything about privacy, Stark?”

Stark’s answer bore the usual sarcasm: “I would have knocked Carter, but somehow I lack the needed fist, so I hope you can forgive me my rudeness.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Stark was right. Without body there was only one way to get Carters attention: Come into his personal hearing range and talk. So Carter tried to get a grip on his unwanted feelings of shame and unease while asking:

“So what is it? Something bad happened at GD? Do I need to call for Jo?”

“Nothing happened. At least not that I’m aware of.” 

“So what are you doing here then?”

“Well it was a hard day for you with all this running around for me and doing me favors and you looked tense and tired. And as you are a guy, I was pretty sure what you were going to do right now. I didn’t need to be a genius to figure that out.”

“So what? If you knew that already, why are you here now? To make fun of me?”

“No. I was pretty serious before. I wanted to ask you, if I may watch.”

A very enticing red blush appeared on Jack Carters cheeks and on the tips of his ears before Jack sputtered totally beyond annoyed and humiliated: “What the hell for?

Stark snorted: “Just because I don’t have an actual dick at the moment it doesn’t mean I can’t get horny. Or anticipate the thought of some stress relieve.”

Jack made big round puppy dog eyes: “Did I just hear the word ‘dick’ out of your mouth, Dr Stark?”

Stark sounded angry when he snapped: “So what?”

Carter cracked a smile, softly chiding: “Bad scientist! We will need to rinse your mouth with soap…”

“Carter!” Stark growled in warning but the sheriff already lifted his hands in mock surrender: “Hey, calm down. It was just a joke.” He made a pensive pause before adding with a curious look in his eyes: “So you were really serious?”

Stark snorted again, mumbling something about imbecile idiots under his breath before finally amending with as much sarcasm as he could muster: “No Carter. I just wanted to give you a good laugh at my expense. Ha ha.”

“Come on, don’t be like this. Even you have to see why I am so suspicious.” There was real hurt in Carters voice and Stark tried to get a grip on himself.

“Look, this was a bad idea. Forget, that I ever asked and let’s pretend we never had this discussion.”

“Now don’t be stupid, Stark! I know this isn’t easy for you and neither it’s for me. God knows why I am the only one who can hear you and before Henry has any new ideas we just have to deal with this. Running away won’t solve anything.”

“No but it might spare us any more embarrassing moments when I keep my mouth shut from now on.”

“No you finally get the idea when I’m the only one who can hear you. Couldn’t you have thought of this years before?”

“Carter…” Stark stressed now sounding really pissed.

“Okay, okay. Fine. So you really want to watch me jerk off? But wouldn’t that be very frustrating for you if you can’t touch yourself as you have no body?” 

Stark stayed quiet for a long while, refusing to answer, but Carter knew, the man hadn’t left the room yet. If Nathan Stark was anything, it sure was stubborn. So Carter added, changing his tactics: “You know, you have to give me something here, which I can believe or you won’t get anything.”

“I don’t need your permission, Carter. If I wanted to watch you without being aware of it, I just would have kept quiet and you would have been none the wiser.”

The blush on Carters face grew even darker, but he refused to give an inch: “But you didn’t, did you?”

“No, of course not!” Carter understood Stark barely as he was only grumbling.

“So back to question one: Why would you want to watch me?”

“Because…” Stark sighed heavily and his voice was a mix of frustration and honesty when he finally answered the question: “Because I just want the connection, okay?”

“Connection?” Carter asked curious.

“It’s five weeks now since the accident at GD. It had only been a week before when I got the physical relationship with Allie back. I was just getting used to it again, when I was forcefully separated from everybody. Nearly five weeks without human contact, without any conversation, food or sleep. Only being alone with my own thoughts. I’m getting desperate for it and…”

He was interrupted by Carter, whose features wore a gentle smile: “that’s why you are here now.”

“Yes.”

They both fell silent again, both lost to their own thoughts before Carter finally whispered: “Okay.”

“Really?” Although Carter couldn’t see Nathan’s non physical form he clearly could imagine the utter surprise in his face.

“Yeah. But you have to promise me to never talk about this to anybody but me.”

“Carter…” Stark sounded amused “right now I couldn’t tell anybody even if I would…” but he got interrupted by Carter again: “I’m not talking about now. I’m talking about afterwards, when Henry will have fixed this mess and you are back to your snarky human self. Promise me never to tell anybody. Not even Allison. On second thought: Especially not Allison!”

Starks low chuckle could be heard then, as earnest as ever: “I promise by my Nobel Prize.”  
It did sound a little childish, just like ‘scouts honor’, but Jack could feel how serious Stark was behind his mask of amusement. He really needed this connection and he would keep his promise.

Having cleared that up, Carter suddenly grew nervous again.

“Sooo… how do you want to make this work?”

Silence, then: “Actually I never thought you’d agree, so I didn’t think about it before. Why… don’t you keep going as before? Just go for it…”

Carter’s hands were shivering when he lay back down under the blankets. He tried to reach for his pants, but only made it the third try. Just when he had grabbed his still quiescent dick and started to get back into the fantasy Stark spoke, instantly breaking the mood again:

“I can’t see you this way. Can’t you lose the blankets and your clothes?”

“What? You really want to see this in great detail? I can S.A.R.A.H make show you porn or something…” The sheriff sounded really embarrassed and annoyed.

“I want to see you Carter and not some mindless porn. And yes, I want to see everything. I can’t smell, I can’t touch myself, I can’t ask anybody but you. Yeah, I want to see every detail of it. And when you’re at it, make it a good show.”

“God, you can be such an asshole, Stark.” Carter snapped with Stark’s last snippy answer the mood now entirely ruined.

Obviously Stark tried to get a grip on his own foul mood as the expected sarcastic answers don’t come. Finally the scientist offered:

“Look Carter. I was serious. I really want to watch you closely, but if you can’t, then I’ll take what you can give me. If you want to pretend that I’m not here, then so be it.”  
Carter mulled that over in his head before answering: “But that wouldn’t be, what you need, right? If I pretend to be alone, you still would lack the connection.”

“Yes.” The answer sounded dull and resigned.

“Okay.” Carter took a deep breath, steeled himself before stripping to his boxers as efficiently as he could.

“Carter?”

“Look, I’ll give it a try, but I can’t guarantee for anything, Stark. So… what else would you like me to do?”

“Why don’t you start by telling me about the fantasy you were about to have? It should get you right back to business.” Stark offered.

“No. No way in hell.” Carters look was wide-eyed and shocked as he furiously shook his head in negative.

“Wow. That kinky?” Stark couldn’t stop himself from teasing the already embarrassed man.

Carter was blushing again but answered seriously: “Actually not… this time.”

“Interesting.” Stark murmured his mind racing through possibilities. Then he groaned when it hit him: “You weren’t going to fantasize about Allie, were you?”

Carter ‘s blush reached now his chin but his answer was the truth: “ I stopped fantasizing about her when I learned I’d never have a chance with her. I’m not that masochistic.”

“Not that masochistic?” Stark sounded amused and curious at the same time. “Sounds still kinky to me.”

“It just means that I was about to have a fantasy about someone I wasn’t going to be with…” a slight pause before he added “ever again.”

Stark teased: “What, were you that bad in the sack she never wanted to do it again?”  
The blush was replaced by a serious look full of sadness and Stark actually felt bad for his teasing. This looked pretty serious.

“No. Actually it was the best sex I ever had. But the person died years ago.”

“So you weren’t talking about your ex-wife either.” Stark stated as a matter of fact.

“No.” Carter agreed.

“Was it before or after her?”

The returning blush and the silence were answer enough, so Stark stated full of disbelieve: “I never thought you’d be a cheater.”

“It… was complicated.”

“It always is. Tell me!” Stark gently prodded and to his surprise Carter really did.

“When Zoe was five and I had just started working as US marshal we had our first crisis in our marriage. Abby hated my new job with passion, because I was never around. It would end our marriage years later after all. But back then… she cheated on me. She felt bad about it but when she finally told me the truth, in my head was only revenge.”

Jack made a pause and seemed to ponder how to explain this best. Nathan waited patiently, letting him tell this in his own pace. This sounded like such a strange behavior he’d never expected from the town sheriff, who always tried to be extra correct about anything.

“There was my best friend, whom I always was very attracted to. I knew… the feelings were mutual, but I had just started dating Abby and I didn’t want to lose what I had with her. I was afraid to make a move and ended up marrying Abby in the end. Don’t get me wrong – I always loved Abby, even when she cheated on me. Everyone makes mistakes in life.” Jack shrugged in indifference before he continued: “I just kept wondering sometimes, how it would have turned out when I had chosen another path in life. So when she cheated on me it gave me an opportunity to finally test it out.” 

“And?”

“Like I said: best sex of my life so far. We didn’t leave the bed for two whole days except for the occasional shower and some food.”

“But?”

“But it could never work out. I returned to Abby afterwards and we both knew it would happen. I couldn’t leave Zoe behind and I knew Abby felt really bad for cheating on me. I thought, I could save the marriage.”

“Did you tell her?”

“Yes, of course. She was really pissed but in no position to say anything about it. She always knew about the attraction between us, so it was a real low blow to her. But she stood her ground and we worked it out for another six years.”

“Were you still best friends afterwards?”

“We needed to be: we worked together. We… didn’t like the situation, but we coped.”

“How did she die?”

For a long time Carter didn’t answer, but for another reason than Stark thought, so when the bomb dropped he didn’t know how to answer that particular statement:

“He got shot in a hostage situation in the line of work.”

Carter fell also silent, looking frustrated. He tried to wait patiently, but finally snapped:

“What? Just one little word gets the famous Dr. Stark finally to shut up? If I had only known before…” Jack crossed his arms before adding: “Are you gone? If not, talk to me!”

“God, give me a break here. That came out of nowhere.” Stark hissed back.  
Now Carter looked downright pissed and resigned on top of it. He sighed, visibly steeling himself before he asked:

“Is this going to cause any problems on our working relationship?” 

“What?” Stark sounded surprised: “Of course not. Who do you think I am? Some close-minded bigot?”

Carter shrugged “I barely know you at all. You could be one for all that I know.”

“Well, I’m not.” Stark stated sounding miffed. “Actually I’ve had one or another fantasy myself in my life about some experimentation with other men, although I never actually tried it out before. Why should I judge anyone by who they chose to sleep with?”

Carter ignored the rhetorical question by blurting “Really?” with a stupid looking grin on his face. He wondered whether Stark would be blushing now, if he had a body to do so and whether it would be seen under the beard.

“Yes.” The scientist admitted grudgingly.

“So why didn’t you try it out before? You’re sure handsome enough to get asked.”

Silence fell again at the sheriff’s easy admittance and another blush crept up on his ears. Why the hell did his mouth have to say such things without considering his brain first?

“Did you just compliment me on my appearance?”

Again, Carter tried to shrug it off: “Well you are attractive. I’d be dead not to notice. That’s not really a secret or anything. Besides I’m really sure you know about your effect on the female population, so stop fishing for compliments!”

“On the female population and obviously on you. And here I always thought you hated me, Carter.”

“Oh come on. Don’t be stupid. I have been a US marshal. I hate mass murderers and burglars and child molesters. You sure are annoying and you can drive me out of my mind, but I don’t hate you for it. I was jealous about your thing with Allison, but just being jealous doesn’t make me hate people.”

“So going for Allie wasn’t a show?”

Thankfully Stark asked that question very earnest, so Jack didn’t feel too affronted by it and answered it as calmly as he could: “Of course it wasn’t a show. Did you look at her? She’s really hot. Of course I went for her. Usually I don’t judge possible partners by their gender. It’s like I said. I always loved Abby and I didn’t lie to her: I was always attracted to her too.”

Silence again, then Carter added returning to one of his earlier questions: “Why didn’t you try it before, if you were curious. I mean, you are a scientist and always very keen on your experiments.”

That comment made Stark chuckle low in his non-existent throat, before answering:

“Well my first and for a long time only love was science. I was a late bloomer. I didn’t leave my labs very often and I kind of moved into them when I was only thirteen.”

“Let me guess: When you finally started wondering about it, people were so pissed off by your gigantic ego that they didn’t even try to make a move on you.” Carter teased, surprised when he didn’t get a smart comment as answer.

“Actually yes, I think so. All except Allie that is.”

“Yeah, she has a way to look behind people’s masks.”

“Yes.”

Both were silent again for a while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Finally Jack spoke up again looking skeptical:

“So, you still want to do this?”

“Very much so.”

“I’m still not sure whether I can tell you about my time with him.”

“Does the past hurt too much?”

“Uhm, no. I learned to live with his death a long time ago. I think I’m really keeping his memory alive if I think of him when I do this.”

“So where’s the problem?”

“I… feel stupid telling this to the air. I’m not used to talk… while doing this.”

“Would it be easier when I ask you some questions to get you going?”  
When he asked the question Nathan was sure he’d get an angry answer to his question, but Carter kept surprising him more and more.   
He shrugged sinking deeper into the mattress and tried to get comfortable. 

“I don’t know, but we can try. Do you mind when I close my eyes? That way I can pretend you are really here and I’m not talking with your ghost or whatsoever.”

“Of course. Let’s start this easy: Where did you meet for your little tryst?”

“At his apartment.”

“Did he know why you were coming?”

“Yes, I told him over the phone. He didn’t hesitate a second. He knew it was a once in a lifetime chance for both of us. We both knew.”

Carter’s muscles started to relax and he slowly started drawing circles on his chest avoiding yet any erogenous zones. Stark actually found he liked that Carter wasn’t rushing into things. He had always liked to do this slowly too, to make it a worthwhile experience, not some duty to relax the body.

“How did he look?”

“Beautiful.” The answer came without hesitation and a deep sigh but was accompanied with another light blush and some faltering in the movement.

“Perhaps a little more in detail?” Stark didn’t comment on that particular unmanly use of adjective further.

“Brown hair and eyes, easy smile, same height as me and nice muscles. I actually saw him never unshaved until that meeting and he wore always fancy glasses. Nice deep voice and really the quiet type. No useless chatter with him, always only the really important things were spoken about.”

“That gave more room for your mindless chatter.” Stark dared to tease and thankfully Carter didn’t stop his movements. Currently he was stroking his chin and his neck as he was obviously very sensitive there. If Stark had a body his mouth would probably run dry now and he would start to sweat in anticipation.

“Very not funny, Stark. Actually I was more the quiet type myself, when he was near. He always helped me to center myself and to calm me down when I was too nervous.”  
“Sounds like a great guy.”

“He was.” A faint smile tinted with sadness on Jack’s lips.

“Why wasn’t he dating?” Stark assumed that he wasn’t, because somehow he couldn’t believe Carter would do this, if his partner wasn’t free and he was right with that guess.  
“He was in between two relationships at that time.” Carter sounded wistful as if he would have liked to help him change that. He started circling his nipples, but didn’t close in on them yet. “He had always very bad luck with the men he fell for. Including me.”

“So, he was gay?”

“Yes, very much so. And thankfully experienced enough to get me rid of my nervousness. I was near hyperventilating when I reached his home.”

“Scared much?” There was a smile in Starks voice again, but no real teasing.

“Yes. I might have had some ideas, but I didn’t know what I really wanted to try out and what not.”

“So what did he do?”

“He just gripped my hands and pulled me in an embrace until I started to relax. Then he just took off to his bedroom and pulled me after him, placing me on his large bed.”

“No talking first?”

“Told you he wasn’t the vocal type. He showed me instead.”  
Finally Jack’s fingers started in on his nipples and Jack had to pause, as a slight moan escaped his mouth.

“How did he show you?”

“We… we kissed for a while. It felt like an eternity and he tasted so good. Hints of coffee, his nice eau-de-toilet all around me, mixed up with his own unique smell. His hands were everywhere and nowhere, but I didn’t mind.”

“Where did he kiss you? Show me!” Stark demanded and to his surprise Jack reacted without hesitation.

He lifted his hand, which had still been toying with his nipple, now slightly reddened and hard by the attention, to touch his mouth, painting the curves of his lips.

“Here” Another little moan interrupted him “such a wicked tongue. Don’t want to know where he learned it, but he was a genius in kissing as far as I can tell.” His hand stayed there a while, then it traced a line up on his chin again, then down over his throat. Jack kept pushing his neck deeper in the pillows to expose his neck and throat even further, his body wantonly writhing on the sheets. He started to break a light sweat, while he stroked over the soft skin. He suddenly lifted his hand again and sucked his forefinger slightly to put it back on his throat, leaving a light wet trace there. Another moan, then his finger started to wander again, back to his nipples. Circling them, before going even further down.

“Did he…” Funny. although he didn’t have voice cords or a throat Stark sounded husky to his own ears, very much turned on by the picture in front of him. He cleared his throat to ask: “Did he suck you?”

The moan that followed was unexpected loud and came with a hiss “Yes. Of course.” Jack grabbed for his tented shorts, hissing again. Then he added, while slowly freeing his already half hard erection by pushing the offending garment down: “But not right away. The first time he used just his hands and kept kissing me to calm me down.”

“Show me how he touched you!”

“Yes.” Jack hissed before he lifted his hand again to lick very obscenely across his palm. Then he brought said hand down to fist his trembling dick. Only a few pulls and it was standing to full attention giving Jack’s hand extra room to explore.

“Didn’t want him to finish me this quick though.” Thumb and forefinger circled the head of his dick, squeezing it slightly to take his excitement down a notch. If he could have, Stark would have winced in sympathy. Still he was very grateful, because he was also just getting into the spirit of things. It had been so long for him and he really longed for this connection, this talking between them. So he rasped: “Why?” although he could think of some answers to that question himself.

“Cause I didn’t want it to be over so quick. Didn’t know he just wanted to take the edge off. Didn’t know he wouldn’t let me leave the bed until two days later.” Through the words he smiled in reminiscence and kept stroking his dick with languid movements, teasing the tip in a slow, circular pattern which made his knees tremble in anticipation. 

“What else did you try?”

“After…” Carter started to pant now, while the movement of his hand started a quicker pace. Sweat was pouring down on his body, while his free hand grabbed his balls to cradle them. “After he sucked me off for the first time, I returned the favor, as good as I knew how to.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes. So much power I had over him just by going down on him. I’ll never forget his look of utter surprise, when I offered. Think he didn’t know then, I was really serious. 

Probably thought I was doing it just because I was hurting, not because I wanted him. Can’t blame him. Couldn’t have known I had been fantasizing about doing it since years ago…” A grin plastered itself on Carters lips as he remembered. He licked his lips unconsciously, making Stark’s head spin with need and lust.

“Did he let you fuck him?” The scientist couldn’t stand the tension anymore as he couldn’t touch himself. He wanted to finish this, he wanted to see Carter come his brains out. It seemed he choose the right question, because Carter’s hands instantly quickened their pace and he started to work himself serious.

“Yes.” Another hiss.

“Did you like it?”

“It was gorgeous.” Stark felt miffed, when Carter surprisingly didn’t elaborate further and at first he believed it had to do with him quickly losing his ability to think, but on a whim he decided another approach as he saw Carters fingers on his balls slightly slip lower.

“Did you let him fuck you?”

Carter’s fist started to blur with speed now, his breath coming in pants as he had difficulties to answer. He managed though.

“Yeah, on the second morning.” The middle finger started now openly teasing the hidden opening behind Jack’s balls, drawing tiny circles and loosening the muscle with ease, as if it had done it countless times before.

“Did you like it?”

“At first not. Felt full, too much, like splitting me apart. But he kept stroking me everywhere, whispering to me, soothing me. And then it was suddenly so good. I have no words for it. Made him do me right again as soon as we could even though I was sore. Felt like heaven. Didn’t ever want to return to earth.”

Jack was close now, clear fluid already leaking from the tip of his angry red erection. And Nathan knew it was up to him now, so he whispered:

“Show me, Jack! Show me how hard he made you come! Come for me!” 

Carter did just that, coming in three hot, hard pulses, messing up his fist and his abdomen while some drops even reached his neck. His mouth opened in a silent cry, as he obviously tried not to wake the whole house (or more specifically his daughter) by shouting out his release.

Afterwards he sank back to the blankets, trying to get his breath back while panting heavily. His face showed a broad and content smile as he finally gathered enough air to speak again:

“You’ve got a really sinful mouth there, Dr. Stark.”  
Stark chuckled again, still trying to find back to earth. He hadn’t exactly had something like an orgasm, but he still had felt something very intense when he was allowed to watch Carter come.

“You don’t know half of it, Sheriff Carter. I have some tricks of my own I should probably tell you about one day. Or even better show you.”

Carter smiled again, but somehow this time the smile didn’t reach his eyes when he answered playfully:

“Are you flirting with me, Nathan? Figured you for someone who’d do it all the wrong way. First getting intimate and afterwards getting to know each other better.”

“That wasn’t flirting, Carter. I was stating a fact.”

“Oh, you mean you were just doing your ‘I’m-a-genius-with-countless-doctorates-and-a-Nobel-thingy’ again?”

“When calling it so makes you feel better?”

Carter enjoyed their flirty banter very much but he was feeling tired as it was already late and a good orgasm always left him wiped out.

Carter fished blindly for his shorts beside the bed, while a huge yawn appeared to split his face apart and he didn’t open his still blissfully closed eyes yet. When he finally found them he used them to wipe his hands and his sticky abdomen… well if not clean, at least cleaner before tossing them back to the floor again.

“Carter, that’s just gross.” Stark couldn’t stop himself from commenting, but there was a sleepy sounding and content smile to hear behind the harsh words.

“Come on, ‘m tired.” Carter whined not feeling affronted at all, before he added, this time more seriously “And could you please call me by my name after all… this?” Carter made a motion with his hand, which obviously included his still half-sticky nakedness and his bedroom.

“I thought, that was what I was doing, Carter.” Stark teased without mercy.

“Nathan!” Carter stressed and unseen by the sheriff the scientist did the non-physical version of a smile.

“Okay, Jack.”

At the sound of his given name rolling this easily from the scientist’s lips Jack smiled in content. He got caught afterwards in a huge yawn and finally mumbled: “So, can I get some sleep now? I am feeling sleepy and we should be at Henry’s lab really early.”

“Okay, Jack. Go to sleep. I’ll be right here, when you wake up.”

“Cool. G’night.”

“Night, Jack.”


	4. Back to Normal?

Jack stared tiredly at his food, not really seeing it but still reliving the actions of the last few hours over and over in his head. Stark was really back. Henry actually found a way to configure the hellish machine that initially killed the scientist once. Or rather changed his energy, or however the scientists call it these days.

Although this should be a reason to be joyful the happenings right afterwards still made his stomach churn and his head reel. Nathans and his eyes had met only for the fraction of a second but Jack had suddenly been sure that the scientist knew how much he wanted them to be lovers. The sheriff hadn’t dared to tell Nathan’s energy form about his feelings yet. He had needed more time to make a final decision and he had hoped Nathan would stay in that form only a little while longer and with that dependent on only him and no one else.

Of course that had been a very selfish wish, but for the first time he’d actually been able to enjoy the snarky scientists company without the world falling down around them or them both fighting over Allison. He’d been attracted to Nathan right away, but for the first time in nearly three years it had looked, they could actually have a chance together.  
Brown eyes had long been replaced by green ones and a clean shaven chin by a bearded one for so long now, he couldn’t even remember anymore, when it started. But he had underestimated Henrys genius and afterwards reality had been crashing in on Jack like a tsunami. There had been only this one second of what looked like mutual understanding and longing before Allison stormed into the room to hug the naked and shivering form of her just returned fiancé. After her arrival Nathan didn’t look at Jack anymore, not even for the blink of an eye. He’d had only eyes for Allison and Jack had left as quickly and as quietly as he could, as his heart silently broke. 

Nathan would never leave Allison and Jack just had to finally accept that.  
So now the sheriff was sitting at the bunker staring at nothing in particular while he wondered whether he would be able to do his job in the future. So many things happened in Eureka and he was tired of going through them without a partner at his side. Sure there was Zoe, but she would leave in less than two years to university. He didn’t know if he could stand a third try at this relationship between Allison and Nathan, probably even another marriage. 

“Dad, are you okay?” Zoe sounded really concerned about his well-being, so he tried to find her a smile. He had totally forgotten about her eating with him and sitting across the table.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Shouldn’t you be happy that you could help Dr. Stark?”

“I am.”

“You sure don’t look like it.” She sounded skeptical.

“I really am. It was just a very long week. Perhaps I’ll take a sick day tomorrow.”

Zoe looked at him strangely, her gaze piercing. She frowned at him then steeled herself, as she was obviously going to say something he wouldn’t like. He knew that look. Probably something about hairboy.

“You should tell Dr. Stark!” She crossed her arms and glared at him while he tried to appear without any clue of what she was talking.

“What are you talking about?” She couldn’t have picked up on that, now could she?

“About your feelings for him. Even if he might not feel the same for you, you’ll at least know, so you can move on.”

Jack intended to contradict but in the end he didn’t. He knew how smart she was, he shouldn’t have underestimated her in the first place.

“Aren’t you surprised?”

“A little.” She admitted sheepishly before adding: “Although you two did often argue like an old married couple.” She watched her father squirm under her gaze before she smiled kindly: “I just want you to be happy and right now you are miserable. Talk to him!”

“He’ll choose Allison. He’d be stupid not to and we both know he is anything but that.”

“Come on dad, give yourself some credit here. You two would be a great match. Getting on each other’s nerves all the time but you would live up to the challenge.”

“You romantic!” Jack chided his daughter softly but with a sad smile on his lips. “It wouldn’t be fair to Allison though. I can’t talk to him. She’s been through so much…”  
Zoe rolled her eyes. “God, you’re hopeless. You and your help-syndrome.”  
Their banter was disturbed by S.A.R.A.H.’s voice suddenly announcing loudly:

“Dr. Stark is at the door.”

Father and daughter looked at each other wide-eyed and really surprised.

“S.A.R.A.H.? Let him in.” Jack finally offered while Zoe fled the scene with a flippant: 

“Please talk! I’ll be upstairs doing homework and I won’t come back down until tomorrow. G’night dad.” Within the blink of an eye she disappeared.

Jack tried to put an air of indifference around him, when he turned to ask the scientist:  
“Did something bad hap…?”

But when he looked at Nathan’s his words died on his lips. Stark looked really tired and sad and somehow totally lost.

“Are you alright?”

Nathan ignored the question, turned to the kitchen and demanded there with a broken sounding voice: “S.A.R.A.H.? Scotch me!”

For once, the smart house didn’t comment on the use of alcohol and instead offered: “Of course, Dr. Stark.” Nathan grabbed for the glass and downed it in one go. “Refill!”

By now, Jack had come over and placed a hand on Nathan’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong with you, Nathan?”

The scientist didn’t make eye contact until he finally muttered:

“Can I sleep on your couch tonight?” 

“Why?”

“Because I don’t own my house anymore and I can’t sleep at Allison’s.”  
Nathan stated with his gaze dull and unmoved. Jack couldn’t bear to see the strong man like this. He’d never seen Nathan in so much pain, not even when he thought Allison and Kevin were about to die.

“Tell me, Nathan! What happened?”

“She simply stated the truth: ‘You lied to me Nathan. You weren’t there, when I needed you.’”

Jack groaned in sympathy. Could Allison really have been that cruel to the man she was supposed to love? 

“But it wasn’t your fault this accident happened!” He defended the other man and was shocked to see resignation in Nathan’s eyes.

“But she was right. The diamond was a bold lie. I didn’t need to fix the machine myself. I could have sent someone else.”

“That’s wrong. And we both know it. You were the only one who…” He couldn’t finish his sentence as he was quickly interrupted:

“I could have sent someone else, but my ego was in the way. Like it was always and will always be in the way: my work comes first. It’s just who I am and she’ll never be able to accept it. It ended our first marriage and sooner or later it would end a second marriage too.”

Carter was angry at the whole damn situation, although he knew that Stark was right.  
“That still doesn’t give her the right to kick you out of her life. You just came back from the dead, she shouldn’t…” he was interrupted again by the scientist who was shaking his head in surrender.

“You really don’t get it, Jack, do you? She didn’t. She would have taken me back with open arms. She didn’t end this: I did. I had to. I…” He trailed off, looking for the right words, finally settling on “I needed to let her go, to give her a real chance at happiness. I needed a chance to find my own happiness.”

“You don’t look very happy right now.” Carter contradicted suspicious, sounding very gentle and caring and mimicking his daughter’s earlier words without even realizing it.  
“I will be. It just needs time to heal. I want to have my own chance at finding someone who’ll understand me, someone who is just like me.”

And with that Nathan locked his gaze again with Jack’s. The sheriff didn’t know what to answer as he could see everything in the green pools: they were so full of emotions he didn’t dare to name them all yet as they knocked the wind out of his lungs: He saw Nathan’s desire for him, saw how very alike they really were. Nathan was right, Jack could understand who he was, because he felt just the same. Heck, even both their marriages ended because of the same reason. And he saw, how insecure Nathan, how big his fear of getting rejected was. 

So Jack gave in to his first impulse and leaned in, stealing a soft and chaste kiss from those tempting lips of which he’d been fantasizing about for years now. They still managed to taste even more delicious than he could have imagined though.

Nathan on the other hand stood frozen, shock visible in his eyes. Obviously he hadn’t expected any other reaction than rejection from Jack. So Carter found him a small smile, stealing another kiss. This time, Nathan tried to return the gesture, but with a sigh Jack didn’t allow the kiss to deepen. With a look of regret he pulled back, softly stroking Nathan’s shoulder to sooth him.

“Listen! I understand what you are saying and this is no rejection. I want to give this relationship a real chance, but I think you’ll need time for yourself first. It has all been a bit much these last few weeks and I don’t think we should rush into this. Can you wait for me? I’ll promise I’ll wait until you have really thought this through.”  
Nathan didn’t look very happy about it, but he finally nodded his consent.

“Let me help you settle for the night then.”

“Jack?”

“Yes?” 

“Would you play the guitar for me? I can’t go to sleep right now…” Nathan trailed off unsure and hugged himself in an unconscious way. He looked so lost that Jack couldn’t have said ‘No’ even if he wanted to.

“Of course. Sit down on the couch, I’ll get the guitar.”

“Okay.”

When Jack returned to the living room with the instrument Nathan was in for a surprise, as Jack sat down right in his personal space, shifting him around and placing his limbs to his liking. Finally he settled between Nathan’s legs, Jack’s back to his front. After a moment of hesitation, Nathan closed his arms around Jack’s middle before leaning his head backwards and getting lost in the soft music Jack was playing only for his ears.


	5. Finally Connecting For Real

Jack had been lying awake for hours now, because his racing thoughts made it impossible for him to get any sleep. He had considered to jerk off but somehow it just hadn’t seemed appropriate after he’d refused to sleep with Nathan yet. He was cursing his own decision right now though, so he couldn’t stop his heart from starting to hammer in anticipation, when he heard the knock at his door.

“It’s open. Come in!”

Just as he had expected Nathan opened the door and in the dim, light of his bedroom he could clearly see his hesitation. For a few minutes neither man said anything, before Nathan finally got a grip on himself:

“May I watch?”

Jack was instantly reminded of the night before and of course a deep blush crept on his face. Although there was a smile in his answer, Jack chided the other man softly:

“Didn’t we just decide to wait?” Nathan pouted before complaining: “No, you decided it. You failed to ask me, what I thought, although I’m the genius around here.” To Jack’s relief this whine sounded exactly like the Nathan Stark he’d known before and not like the damaged man he’d seen after his return.

“I still think this is a bad idea.”

Stark sighed and all light tones vanished from Nathan’s voice:

“You said I should think – but I didn’t do anything else since the accident. I’m tired of it and I made my decision. And if the accident didn’t teach me anything else it showed me at least one thing: We both could be dead tomorrow. I’m tired of waiting and I think so are you. You look as lonely as I felt all along, even…” Nathan took a deep breath before admitting: “…even before the accident.”

Nathan’s form slowly advanced on the bed to give him ample time to flee but Jack didn’t make a move to stop him. The scientist was right once again: he was tired of waiting and they both could be dead tomorrow.

They didn’t need long to get rid of their clothing, as they both weren’t wearing much anyway. On top of it they were really motivated to finally get skin on skin. Carters shorts tore in the process and Nathan’s shirt lost at least two buttons. They couldn’t have cared less though.

They did take their time to explore the other’s body when they finally were naked. Their thorough explorations came to an abrupt halt when Jack shortly closed his eyes, which prompted a sudden unexpected reaction from the scientist:

“Open your eyes!” he demanded in a low voice and Jack instantly did as he was told. The sheriff was shocked at his partner’s intense gaze, recognizing need and lust and jealousy.

“I want you to see me and only me.” Nathan admitted, making Jack blush deliciously.

“I…” Jack stammered, stumbling on the words. “I do see you.”

“I was jealous.” Nathan suddenly admitted und both lovers knew who he meant, so Jack hurried to reassure his lover: “You didn’t need to be. I lied.”

“You did?” Nathan’s tone was suspicious.

“Yes. I was thinking about you even before you came into the room. I… I’ve done so for quite a time now.”

“Really?” Nathan’s look was a mix of surprise and smugness.

“Really.” Jack’s blush deepened before he admitted sheepishly: ”Did you really think I could have given you as easily such a show if I were thinking of someone else?“  
Nathan smirked and teased: “I just thought you were easy…”

“Well, I’m not.” Carter blushed even more but smiled sheepishly while doing so.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Yeah right! That would have gone really well. With your marriage and you being dead and…” Jack rolled his eyes and got interrupted by Nathan, who had to admit:

“Good point. Just pretend I didn’t ask.”

“We do know now anyway…” Which was intended as a statement but sounded suspiciously like a question and Nathan hurried to reassure Jack:

“Yeah. We do.” 

Nathan leaned back down again, where further discussions were clearly postponed until morning. Jack didn’t seem to mind though as he returned the kiss as passionately as he could.

For once the nightly whispers died down and made room for a more carnal way of communication.

…

Endless End

Finished 1st June 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to NeenaBlueGirl for Beta-reading

**Author's Note:**

> Another old story moved to AO3. This one was finished June 2010


End file.
